Non-denominational Memorial Remembrance & Celebration
Multi-cultural Prayers & Meditations
Bereavement Support
What To Do If A Loved One Dies
When there has been a death and you call Pillars of HER Traditions, the minister will ask you where you are, take your phone number and arrange an immediate meeting to provide comfort and support for you and your family. You will give her all pertinent information, including the name, background of the deceased and type of celebration most appropriate for your loved one. Shortly thereafter, you'll inform her of the date for the ceremony to take place, the location of the service and internment arrangements. She will ask you if you want a vigil, and if you want a traditional washing, prayers, reiki and or smudging to be performed before the service. Call 1-347-893-2721 or email pohts@msn.com for additional information.
Pre-Planning your Going Home Celebration
Many of us vary widely in our views as to what happens after death. However, we tend to all agree on one thing:
Death is a doorway into a new life.
Our thoughts and lack of emphasis on death is disconcerting to members of other religions, and it's often misinterpreted to mean that we don't believe in life after death. In a way, this is correct; for our emphasis is actually on life after birth. For us, Life is represented as a circle, a form which has neither a starting nor ending point. Each quarter of the circle flows naturally into the next experience, and each turn of the circle, or wheel, brings new permutations of those experiences. In this way, we learn and grow - eternally.
The "Wheel of the Year", a calendar of Sabbat celebrations, corresponds to how we view our lives, both on a physical level of "life, death, and rebirth," and as a metaphysical outline towards our own spiritual growth. In keeping with the Wheel of the Year, we start life in darkness, grow to the peak of maturity, and decline until we once again greet the darkness before rebirth. Death, therefore, is not an end. It is simply a transition between births; a change of form.
Many of us believe in some variation of reincarnation or transmigration. Many of us believe we cross over to a place of rest and peace where we are reunited with ancestors and friends who have passed before us, but have not yet traveled on. Here, we renew bonds, review our past lives, and set out lessons to experience and learn in the next life. Here, we know and understand all connections and all mysteries, and we rest in the peace and beauty of the Blessed Lady.
On a practical note, it is important for those who strongly wish to have an Earth based funeral rite, to make those wishes known to family and friends, in writing; in addition to leaving a notarized/witnessed copy with the clergy of your choice.
However, many of us are born into Christian families, and the funeral rites (as planned by the family) will be Christian. Please remember, funerals are for the living; they are not necessarily a final statement on your lifestyle and/or beliefs. Funerals help those left behind to accept the loss of your love, friendship, and guidance, and to begin to work through the mourning stages. If a Christian funeral is important to the family for their grieving process, why deny them that? It is a simple thing to have your choice of clergy and friends hold a separate memorial service celebrating your birth into new life, and allowing themselves the right to grieve in their own way for the loss of your influence in their lives.
Rev. Adrianne Cumberbatchhas over 20 years of experience creating and presiding over traditional and alternative rites of passage ceremonies. She has officiated ceremonies for expected deaths of all ages, including unexpected deaths.such as that of an infant, a suicide or accident.
The ministers of PoHTs will compassionately assist you, your family and friends. We provide support from the declaration of terminal illness or moment of incapacitation, through the first year of grieving.
* References Upon Request*
Do not look at my death and weep
Remember, in this world I do not sleep.
Find me in the gentle winds that blow.
Find me in the quiet garden where flowers grow.
Find me in the sunlight sparkling on gentle seas,
Find me in the salt spray of waves crashing free.
When you awaken in the morning’s rush
Find me in the love song of the Mistlethrush.
As you gaze up at the sky at night,
know me as part of the universal light.
Do not look at my death and cry,
I’m at one with land, sea, and sky.
Sitting Vigil
If a loved one is undergoing a prolonged transition from life to death, you have the opportunity to sit vigil. Sitting vigil with the dying is a profound privilege. There is no formula to follow; there are no rules in assisting someone who is passing through the veil from the world of flesh to that of pure spirit. Each death, like each birth, is unique, and has its own miracle of unfoldment. When sitting vigil, we are witnessing, midwifeing the person going through the veil, into another realm of existence; rather than coming from Spirit into this physical plane, as it is with birth. You will use your intuition in doing what's best with, to and for your dying loved one. We take all our cues about what to do and not do from the dying person alone. After your loved one has passed, vigil may continue until final services of celebration has commenced.
All of our celebrations are created to suit the individual lifestyle of your loved one. Conducted indoors or outdoors, we offer assistance in program organization and coordination. Whether you choose to have a funeral, memorial or graveside rite of of passage, the services are loving and tastefully sensitive, presenting a memorable expression of your loved one!
